"My Karma ran over your Dogma"

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

"Vacation, all I ever wanted..." The Go-Gos rocked.

Well I am back. Didja miss me? 6 more As to add to my transcript. And a great vacation stuffed between flights from hell. Darn it all to heck, no stalkers showed up either.

Pictures will have to wait. The IT major screwed up and didn't get them onto the CD right. I have to wait till my friend emails them to me. However I can tell you all about the wonderful time I had.


I have never had so much trouble flying before. I blame it on my wife. Just kidding sweetie. Our first flight was from home to O'Hare. It didn’t arrive here until 1/2 hour after it was scheduled to depart. great.
We finally get on, they close up and start backing the plane up and the flight(y) attendant is doing her final check when she stops . . . her eyes open wide . . . and she says (while staring at my son)," Oh no. He can't be there. Oh no." She then runs away (ok, quickly shuffles away sideways) back to the front and STOPS THE PLANE!! great.
The wife and I look at each other and easily read the "WTF?" in each others eyes. She comes back and tells us he can't be in a car seat in this row because it is directly in front of the emergency exit row. great.
Now she is all in a tizzy. We finally get the guys in front of us to switch, but the young guy in front of Alex won't wake up. great.
After a couple more pokes and a slightly loud "EXCUSE ME SIR" his head pops up and he mumbles, "Whuh, oh I was shleeping." No shit? And with a full airsick bag before we've even left the ground? Passed out was more like it. great.
Now we have to wait for her to run back up front and call security to get Drunky McPukeshoes off the plane. Then we wait some more while they load Granny ShuffleSlowly on to take his place. Needless to say we left over an hour late and many people missed their connecting flights in Chicago. Luckily for us our connecting flight was also delayed so we made it in time.

Which brings us to Denver. I thought O'Hare was big. Denver International is HUGE. It is so big they have an underground rail to take between terminals. Sheesh. However it was much easier to navigate and we met my friends and off we went for a fun filled 10 days. I will fill you in on all the fun details later with pics. We had a great time.

Now for the return flight. Oy. We were supposed to leave at 5:29. We didn't leave until after 7pm. Bad weather in Chi-town. great.
We arrive in the Really Windy City about 10:10. Our connecting flight was scheduled to leave at 9:30. Fortunately it was delayed. Unfortunately by the time we got from our arrival gate to the right departure gate, 13 miles away, they had given away our seats and the plane was preparing to leave. great.
Now I'm mad, on top of sweaty and out-of-breath from busting my hump to get there and I am told I will have to either pay for my own hotel room (because "We can't control the weather.") or sleep in the airport . . . with a 3.8 yr old . . . who WANTS TO GET ON THE AIRPLANE and can't understand why we're NOT GETTING ON THE AIRPLANE!! And even better, we can't get any of our luggage, so we don't have any bathroom stuff or a change of clothes. great.
Fine, Gimmee the freakin hotel info. Shuttle is where? Another 12 mile hike . . . with a tired, cranky almost 4yr old that wants what? yeah . . . TO GET ON THE AIRPLAAAAANE. Call the ride back home and tell ‘em to catch some Zs. We will see them some time tomorrow. We finally get to the shuttle area where there are approx. 43 vans and mini-busses honking and vying for space to pick up their respective customers before roaring off leaving clouds of diesel exhaust. great.
We get in our bus for a 20 minute fun-filled, spine-jarringly comfy ride to our hotel of choice where it is now midnite. We haven't eaten in 12 hours and the only food available is room service. $30 later we have enjoyed a ham sandwich, salad, and 2 OJs. great.
The next day we catch the same teeth-shattering shuttle back to O'Hare around noon, check in to get on stand-by for 4:20 and a definite for 6:30. Of course they are again on opposite ends of the airport. So we wait, and wait, and wait. Finally some good news! We are on the 4:20 flight, which now won't be leaving until 4:40, which didn't leave until after 5pm. The bad news is none of our seats are together. When we get on the plane my Wife has to start negotiations so she can sit with my son. I get to sit next to Mr. Nose-buried-in-book. Fine by me. At least he didn't smell or snore. I took care of both of those.
I tell ya, I held my breath from the moment I found out we were on it until they closed the doors and started moving the plane. I was sure they were gonna ask someone to get off at the last minute. But they didn't and we made it.

So nice to be home.

Can't wait to do it again.